From some pretty tight shoes...

10 years ago, I was a writer for a very cool website, twotightshoes. We wrote articles and poetry for women of color. I recently went to see what was left of our old site. Take a look at www.twotightshoes.net . Trust me, that is not what the site looked like when I posted there.

I decided to share a piece that I posted some years back. Enjoy!

The Visitor

This morning I woke to find a demon in my living room. She looked a lot like me, only with horns and a tail. She had taken a place in my favorite Lazy-Boy. There was the remote control in her left hand and a beer in the right. Her feet were up and she looked as if she had always lived in my home, very relaxed, almost too relaxed.

“Excuse me. Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my apartment?” I said. I tried to keep my voice calm. You don’t exactly want to piss a demon off.

“Don’t you recognize me?” She said. “Look at me. I’m your demon, silly. You know, your dark side. You’ve been going so long not doing anything to get rid of me so I figured I might as well make myself at home. It’s pretty boring inside your head. You don’t do too much. It’s much cozier out here. Want a beer?” She reached into a cooler that was sitting on the floor next to the recliner. “There’s a good talk show coming on in a few minutes. Grab a seat.”

“I don’t think so. Umm, since you’re out and about, why don’t you go to someone else’s house? I heard OJ’s demons could use some company. Why don’t you go there? Isn’t he in California? The weather is much better there than in Chicago.”

“Umm, no.”

This was not going to be easy. I ran my hand through my dreadlocks and thought for a minute. “OK, you’re my demon, right?”

“You bet!”

“OK, I demand that you leave, right now”

She began to laugh. “That’s funny, girl. Come on, sit and have a beer or two.”

“Fine”, I said. “Then I’m just going to kick your butt out.” I proceeded to grab her arm. The heat from her skin singed my hand. “Ow! You really are a demon, aren’t you?”

“You bet! Now hush. The show is on”.

I went back into my bedroom and slammed the door. How in the hell was I going to get her out of here? And why did I have such a big lazy demon anyway? I didn’t even know I had something like that lurking in my head. This must be a dream! That’s it, a dream. I rubbed my eyes real hard, jumped up and opened the bedroom. Just as I got the door fully open, she gave a thunderous belch. How disgusting! Nope, it wasn’t a dream. I slammed the door and threw myself onto the bed.

Three days have past and she’s still here. I’ve tried screaming at her, tried ignoring her, hell, I even tried reading scripture and doing Buddhist chants. She’s still here. She looks like she’s getting fatter and lazier. She eats up all the food in the refrigerator. She doesn’t shower and she stinks like I don’t know what. The cats won’t leave the bedroom. I think they are the reason she doesn’t crawl in my bed at night. She just stays in that chair, drinking beer and watching TV. I’m going to need help with this one.

I went to the library last night and picked up as many books as I could about exorcisms. There was a lot of nothing in most of the books. It wasn’t until the last book that I got an idea.

“When were you created? I asked her when I got home.

“When you were born. Can you be quiet, I’m watching TV.”

“No, I can’t. Why did you keep growing? You look as old as I do. That means you must have been growing as I’ve been growing. How is that so?”

“As long as you don’t conquer your fears, I can live. Stop asking me questions.”

“You have to answer me, don’t you?”

“Yes. Damn it, stop that!” she screamed. She seemed a little agitated.

“Umm, no. I’m going to keep asking you questions until I know everything about you.”

I spent the night quizzing her on my entire existence. The more I asked, the smaller she got. I felt this weight removed, not only from my Lazy-Boy but from my soul as well. There was a peace with the understanding. At times I cried, at others I laughed at my ignorance of what had kept me from my goals for so long. And she just got smaller and smaller.

“OK, I’m finished.” By this time, she was nothing but a formless red smoke hovering over the chair. “One last thing. Get the hell out of my home. Better yet, get out of my life!”

As the smoke cleared, I heard a voice whisper “be careful, I just may come back.”

“Not if I have anything to do with it”, I said. And peace was returned to me.